


so bitter the farewell that I refuse to let it end this way

by Tatsumaki_sama



Series: cross your heart and hope to die [5]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Families of Choice, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Magical Realism, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Missing Persons, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 23:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15012251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tatsumaki_sama/pseuds/Tatsumaki_sama
Summary: The official statement from the police was that the Phantom Thief committed suicide. They waited for some sign to say otherwise.





	so bitter the farewell that I refuse to let it end this way

**Author's Note:**

> I originally thought of including all the Confidants but I felt it would take way too long so I deliberately left some out. For some of the female Confidants, possible pairings may be implied though it is entirely up to the reader's interpretation. I deliberately left Joker's situation ambiguous and the reader can definitely perceive this as a bad ending. For Ann's part, I hit again with Avatar: The Last Airbender feels so I just had to include that quote.

Ignoring the stares of the teachers and students, Makoto rushed down the hallway towards the student council room after hearing the news.

 

She half-expected to see him leaning against one of the desks like he usually does, smirking and acting like he owned the entire building.

 

But no one was there.

 

“ _How do I reach you if I want to talk to you?” she asked one afternoon._

 

“ _Stand in front of a switched-off television at midnight and say my name three times,” Joker replied in a flippant tone. “ The television will turn on and then I will come crawling out of it.”_

 

“ _D-don't tease me!”_

 

_He grinned. At times like this, Makoto could pretend they were simply two students relaxing and hanging out after school, a pastime that she never knew of or wanted to indulge in until she met him._

 

“ _Come here. To the student council room,” he said in all seriousness. “ Call my name and I'll know to come.”_

 

“ _That easy?”_

 

“ _That easy, Miss Student Council President.”_

 

“ Joker?” Makoto whispered his name like a prayer.

 

She kept repeating it, even after the sun was beginning to set and it became long apparent he wasn't going to arrive.

 

~.~.~

 

“ You seem distracted, Takemi-san.”

 

She blinked, not realizing she had been staring at the same sentence for the last minute. “ Forgive me.”

 

“ It is unlike you to behave like this,” the kindly old lady was saying. “ Are you worried about something? If it is about that nasty Phantom Thief, the police have done their job just fine.”

 

_Joker hardly flinched when she applied the ointment to the cut on his neck. It was both impressive and frustrating._

 

“ _What have you gotten yourself into this time, little guinea pig?”_

 

“ _Nothing I couldn't handle,” he shrugged._

 

_Tae frowned. “ It's twice this month you've came to my clinic and more hearts you've been changing. You haven't been this active before. Why now?”_

 

_His eyes were perfectly expressionless, always hiding their true thoughts behind them. It was unnerving. “ I'll be more careful,” Joker said instead. “ You would be the first I'd visit for any injuries.”_

 

“ _Who says I'll let you in?”_

 

_Tae took satisfaction in slapping on a bandage a little harder and this time Joker winced out loud._

 

“ I also noticed your hours are opened later,” the old lady continued. “ Rather kind of you to do so.”

 

Tae smiled vaguely as she bid the old lady farewell. “ Well, you never know who might drop by unannounced.”

 

~.~.~

 

“ You must be so glad that your father's killer was brought to justice.”

 

“ Shame that monster took his own life. What a coward he was in the end.”

 

“ Your father can now truly rest in peace knowing that his murderer got what he deserved.”

 

All day Haru quietly endured all the supposedly comforting words and statements people spoke to her in an attempt to convey their insincere condolences and pretentious support.

 

“ _Do you hate me?”_

 

_Joker's voice was soft and surprisingly loud. It saddened Haru to see him stand so far away from her, that the gulf between them was suffocating and depressing._

 

“ _No.” She shook her head so hard that her hair flung from side to side. “ I know you had nothing to do with my father's death. If the blame need to fall on anyone, it would be me. I was the one who asked you to change his heart and drew the public's attention on him. His killer would have taken advantage of that regardless.”_

 

_Joker's expression was difficult to understand. “ But I could have declined your request,” he quietly replied._

 

_And she would have never gotten to know him and her life would have never changed if that had happened._

 

“ _Please don't!” For the first time in her life, Haru's voice rose emphatically above the other speaker, cutting them off. Joker appeared taken back. “ Don't do this to yourself. Whatever everyone else may say, I don't blame you. So please, don't distance yourself from me. So please.”_

 

_She swallowed. “ Don't ... leave my side.”_

 

_Unshed tears burned her eyes, the tears she could not weep for her father._

 

_Joker's hand came up to rest against her shoulder. The distance between them was gone and Haru could breathe freely again. “ If that is your wish,” he said gently._

 

For now, all Haru could do was listen to others speak at her, forcing a smile and politely nodding in agreement that she was glad her father's murderer was dead when all she really wanted was to see with her own eyes that Joker was alive and well.

 

~.~.~

 

It was disheartening to see that LeBlanc's attic remained empty, despite Sojiro making repeated excuses to go up there.

 

It was no secret that the Phantom Thief enjoyed lounging in the attic on his lazier days if the cleaner spots of dust on the chairs and mattress indicated. Sojiro had just figured Joker relished in basking in the sun like some stray cat and inhaling the scent of coffee and curry wafting from downstairs.

 

“ _Serving coffee and curry, I hope?”_

 

_Sojiro turned to see a young fizzy-haired boy with thick glasses and a casual hoodie sitting on a stool of his newly opened cafe, watching him with interest and smiling knowingly. Sojiro's brow furrowed, feeling as if he had seen the boy before. But the harder he tried to remember, the more his memory remained foggy._

 

_He frowned. “ How did – ?”_

 

_The boy discreetly lowered his glasses and Sojiro could see the deep greyness of his eyes that displayed an ancient age and a hint of something not quite human._

 

“ _You!”_

 

_The now recognized Joker grinned. “ What a pleasant cafe you've created.” He glanced around admiringly._

 

“ _I've managed.” Sojiro felt a rush of gratitude towards the Phantom Thief who true to his word kept his end of the deal, even if Sojiro never did properly thank him._

 

“ _I hope I'm welcomed here.” Joker winked. “ I am practically the co-owner.”_

 

“ _Ha! As if!”_

 

For someone who roamed the city, going where they pleased, Joker had a tendency to visit LeBlanc and stay there for long periods of time. Sojiro wouldn't admit it but he came to enjoy Joker's company even if they did not cross paths as often as they did.

 

“ Don't make an old man wait too long,” he muttered, partly to himself and to anyone who might be listening.

 

~.~.~

 

Mouth set in a rigid line, Ann determinedly ignored the other models and the agency's staff as she headed for the change room. She knew she looked like a mess but she didn't give a damn about her appearance right now.

 

She spent all her time trying to get information – any scrape of information that would help give a clue to where Joker had disappeared to. She revisited the old spots and places they had been to before but her search came up empty. She even wandered around Shibuya and Akihabara all night, hoping to find a crack to enter the distorted world to see if he escaped there.

 

Because she refused to believe he was dead.

 

“ _Has there been another Lovers Arcana like me?” Ann abruptly asked, her curiosity getting the better of her._

 

_Joker smiled. “ Yes. And no. There have been others but none quite like you. There is only one Ann after all.”_

 

_She fought not to blush. “ Stop that! So you must have known them like forever.”_

 

_A strange look passed Joker's face, even if he remained smiling. “ For their lifetime, yes.”_

 

_Their lifetime._

 

_It was a quick and harsh reminder of how old Joker really was. Ann could only wonder what it must be like to live and live and watch friends and companions age and die and move on without him while he remained unchanged and untouched by time._

 

_Before, Ann would not have cared much. She would endure it and soldier on. But now, after she and Ryuji reconnecting all these years and befriending Yusuke and Makoto (who she never would have met if it wasn't for Joker's interventions), the very thought of losing them and Joker was terrifying._

 

“ _Do you think friendships can last more than a lifetime?” she quietly asked._

 

_A gloved hand found its way to her hand, slowly intertwining and grasping its fingers over hers._

 

“ _I don't see why not.”_

 

“ You look a bit pale, Ann-chan,” one concerned model remarked.

 

“ Did you get into a fight with a boyfriend?” a gossiping one quickly asked. “ Did you two break up?”

 

“ No,” Ann smoothly said with a smile that didn't quite match her eyes. “ It's not like that.”

 

~.~.~

 

For the last few days, Yusuke could only stare at a blank canvas. His teacher was puzzled but did not lecture him. His classmates whispered and shot him curious glances but otherwise did not approach him.

 

_Yusuke was finishing the last touch of the painting on his latest masterpiece before finally setting his brush down and sighing in contentment._

 

“ _I was beginning to wonder if I should leave.”_

 

_He had not realized he had company._

 

_Joker was stretched across the bench like a graceful cat, one leg casually dangling over the edge, one arm behind the dark curls of his mop of hair. What a lovely view it made._

 

_Yusuke thought he heard a voice speaking in the background but dismissed it as unimportant compared to his art. “ My apologies.”_

 

_With a nimble leap, Joker was on his feet and peering over Yusuke's shoulder. “ Though I think I hardly look like that.”_

 

_Dark wings unfurled. An outstretched arm drenched in a crimson sleeve reaching for the heavens. Chains snapping and shattering, unable to contain. Joker's true form, only caught in glimpses in the distorted world, was a rare and magnificent sight that he was blessed to see and admire from afar._

 

“ _You give yourself little credit. You are as aesthetically pleasing to the eye as Ann and the lobsters I found on the beach,” Yusuke earnestly said._

 

_Joker laughed._

 

The painting in question was currently hidden in his room, not yet ready to be unveiled to the world. Yusuke had wanted to tell Joker how he had decided to name the piece 'Freedom', befitting of the Phantom Thief.

 

It seemed that fate was so cruel for Joker's likeness to be captured in Yusuke's artwork to be so alive in perfect precision yet the real thing had been hunted down like an animal and killed like one.

 

Gritting his teeth, Yusuke picked up his brush. The police thought they could imprison Joker and the media thought they could restrain him and the people thought they could condemn him. But they were all wrong.

 

Yusuke would dedicate his entire being to keep Joker alive through his art.

 

(in hopes that Joker would return and smile and tease him for making him appear larger than life)

 

~.~.~

 

What an interesting sight it made to see the recently dubbed 'Phony Princess' sit alone at the church, staring intensely at a board that already had its pieces in position. Most would easily dismiss it as her playing against herself when in truth, things were more complicated.

 

_Silence lengthened between them even as the shogi game continued. Despite the concentration in Joker's face, Hifumi found it hard to read his thoughts as she set one final piece forward to corner him._

 

“ _You have nowhere left to move,” she said. “ Do you concede?”_

 

_Hifumi already knew his answer. “ The match is not over yet,” he smirked. “ I may still have a chance of winning.”_

 

_How strange that this match ran parallel to Joker's current situation. The police and public had been slowly removing his pieces on the board and little by little Joker's options are beginning to dwindle._

 

_And despite all that, Joker remained confidant and fearless from those who meant him harm._

 

“ _There is nothing shameful with conceding with defeat,” she quietly said. “ One must lose with grace and dignity as a queen would.”_

 

_His smile was understanding as he looked at her. They both knew what she was really talking about. “ I know. It is a valuable lesson that my Star has taught me.”_

 

_Hifumi blushed. When the times suit him, Joker tended to use the name of her designated Arcana. It never ceased to make her embarrassed._

 

“ _But you have nothing to worry about.” The glint in his eyes was determined. “ This is a game that I intend to win.”_

 

Hifumi could only pray that the cost of winning the game was not his own life.

 

~.~.~

 

Ryuji was on the warpath.

 

Fire burned through his veins, a nuclear bomb that was on the verge of detonating and taking half of the city with it if he had to. Something was crawling up his throat, ridding him of the ability to speak. The only thing his mind could think of was how he was going to exact painful and swift revenge.

 

He would find out who was it that killed Joker. Whether it was Akechi or Shido or some random lackey of theirs, it did not matter.

 

Ryuji would find out and make them _pay_ for hurting his friend.

 

“ _Those bastards think they can do whatever the hell they want, don't they? What a load of bull!” Ryuji snarled._

 

_Joker, sitting on the edge of a dusty desk, watched him with amused interest. The casual nonchalance exhibited in the Phantom Thief only fuelled Ryuji's ire more._

 

“ _They think they can accuse you of murder and just get away with it?” he continued, pacing back and forth agitatedly, like an incensed cat. “ Wait until I get my hands on them. Screw them and the police! Just send them packing into that distorted world and you can mess them up real good, am I right?”_

 

_He stopped and stared at the Phantom Thief who remained pleasantly indifferent. And how could Joker be smiling at a time like this?_

 

“ _Why aren't you angry?” he demanded. “ Don't you want to get even with those bastards?”_

 

“ _I am just happy to know I have a friend like you by my side,” Joker serenely said instead._

 

_All his rage and indignation was easily deflated by those few words. Ryuji spluttered incoherently, turning red, uncertain whether he feel flattered or embarrassed. “ Dude! How could you say that stuff with a straight face?”_

 

_Joker smiled innocently at him._

 

If Joker was here, he would be the one to temper Ryuji, to calm and pacify the erupting storm within him.

 

But Joker wasn't there and there was no one to stop Ryuji from raging against the world.

 

~.~.~

 

Fingers flying through her keyboard, Futaba chewed her lip agitatedly, even ignoring Sojiro as he entered in to deliver one of his delicious curry meals and voiced his concern about how she was reverting back to her old ways.

 

She could not afford to be distracted at a time like this.

 

“ _You are leaving us, aren't you?”_

 

_Joker looked up from the video game with an unreadable expression. “ What makes you say that?” he asked._

 

_Futaba fiddled restlessly with her controller, making her character walk and spin aimlessly on the screen. “ Just a feeling.” At Joker's questioning look, she managed to blurt out, “ It was the same with Mom. Everything was going great. Her research was almost done. She was going to take me somewhere fun. But then – but then, she died! Someone killed her!”_

 

_Now that the words were spewing out, Futaba couldn't stop talking. Joker continued looking at her, frowning._

 

“ _And it's happening like that all over again. I can leave the house now. Sojiro and I are getting along better than ever. We have you in our lives too. Everything is going great so something bad is definitely going to happen!”_

 

_It was horrible, the feeling welling up in the bottom of her stomach, making her feel sick. The gnawing sensation was making its way to her chest as she tried to breathe properly._

 

_A warm hand patted Futaba's head, stilling her fears. “ I can't promise that something bad won't ever happen,” Joker gently said. “ But I can promise that if something does happen, I'll come to you first.”_

 

_A funny sensation trickled down from where Joker's hand was on her head, to her cheeks, fingertips and toes, making her feel very warm. How was Joker able to do this when her Mom wasn't able to?_

 

“ _Y-you better! I'll bug every square inch of the city to find you if you don't!”_

 

_She punched him in the arm and Joker grinned._

 

It seemed like ages ago when they had that conversation and now Joker was arrested, possibly even dead, and Futaba was left behind once again.

 

She already lost her mother.

 

She would not lose Joker too.

 


End file.
